Day 19: The Naked Truth

The Blindman's Wife, The Blindman, Rob McFadden Viridian Vice President and Ed Kenny Millionaire Circle Viridian

One of those life events happened to me last night. It didn't just happened to me but it happened to a new, very new friend that I have made since starting my new career move.  

No this has nothing to do with network marketing and yet without this life change I wouldn't have had this spotlight moment to remember and neither would my dear friend. 

Let me set the scene. Our new duo of friends and ourselves went out to a party where the theme was green. Not to be outdone by anyone else this awesome foursome took to the street clad in their green attire. Myself and my blind man dressed from the green loving 70's hippies era and our new pals became toy green soldiers. Lining the car seats with plastic they climbed into the go kart bus and shared a lift to the venue. Once arrived the finishing touches of hand paint were applied to these would be plastic soldiers in the making. Meticulously I helped apply the green ink to their  hands, neck and face so their skin glowed an iridescent camouflage colour, and as I painted my new friend (I will call him Bazza to protect his identity) he dropped his keys on the ground. Thinking that they were the keys to the apartment I placed them in my handbag so they would not get lost. 

70's Disco fever with the Blindman and his wife

The night was great and Bazza and his wife looked amazing taking out the $500 prize. After we arrived back at the would be plastic green toy army mess to retire for the evening things started to get interesting. Perhaps I should say this is more of a 70's free love shack for those that clad themselves in the era of smoking pot and sharing of themselves parts that only ten years prior would have been unthinkable. 

Bazza and his Wife the Green Plastic Toy Soldier Wanna Be's

Deano and I had the ensuited room and Bazza and his lovely wife had the second room. At around 12.30am having a shower to wash all the seventies gunk of my body, hear a vocal commotion coming from the second room..."I've lost the car keys! Deano can we have your car keys to hunt around for ours in your car" Me under the shower didn't realise that the keys I picked up were for Bazza's rental vehicle until about 5 min later. 

Quickly I jump out of the warm toasty water to whip a fluffy white towel around my body. Standing on the 15th floor balcony in the dead of night I lean over and sung out to the couple frantically looking for keys.(this has not been a great day for them and this car as some scum of the earth had broken into their car and stole Bazza's wife's handbag with all her belongings, phone, make up, wallet...in the process smashing the cars window.) "Hey guys I've found your keys" Hearing me these two ant like fingers looked up with Bazza calling back "Great" and then proceeding to lock our car.

My next fatal thoughts were...grab the keys and drop them on their bed so their hunt is over. I did that pretty swiftly, remembering I am only clad in a towel I run and hop back into the shower...leaving the bedroom door slightly open.

Showering finally done I get out once again to go back to my suitcase to find fresh clothing. As I step out into the wilds of my bedroom in all my naked glory to my surprise we have a visiting wilder beast. Yes! Bazza was standing there at the door that I had inadvertently left open thanking Deano for the returned keys. He had not realised what his eyes were about to see, and could never ever, not without a great deal of psycho therapy and still I don't ever think he will unsee this expanse of a woman standing starkers before him...talk about free love or what! Deano said the look on his face was priceless...one worth of blogging about! (Don't know where that comment came from considering he can't see!) I know the look on my face was that of horrifying shock...absolutely  and utterly terrified. I don't think I have ever seen a man move so quickly, Usain Bolt had nothing on Bazza with the speed he left the room, if there was an Olympic record for how quickly a man could exit an awkward situation Bazza would have gold!

Shutting our door all I could do was belly laugh...I'm still chucking writing this blog. We belly laughed through the walls of this apartment for a good hour until our shame put itself to bed. To me I have never been seen naked( apart from bits of nakedness during medical procedures) by a sighted man ever. I have never ever shown this body to a man, that could see, and thought in my lifetime I would never have to. Mentally I was not prepared for a naked sighted man viewing. 

For the past 25 years the judgments of my blindman were not of a sighted nature. It's been all about the feel and never about the actual. My mind has been processing this for the last few hours and my only response which I believe is the response of champions is to laugh! I learnt at a very young age from the example of my Mum whenever she found herself embarking on an embarrassing situation would laugh. One time my three year old sister leaned out of the window of the car and sang out to one friend who was crossing the road "This is my mum and she's fat" My mums embarrassed response was a big belly laugh. To this day when that story repeated we all laugh even Mum! 

So today with your feet up on this sleepy Sunday afternoon I herby give you permission to laugh with the Blindman's wife and remember that the  beached rare white whale "Migaloo" on the 15th floor of a Gold Coast apartment can also laugh at traumatic situations regardless of what life throws at her. And have a little silent prayer for poor Bazza who now deals with a picture in his mind that he never would've contemplating seeing in his whole life. This body born in the 70's is a great testament to that era. I was just living up to the 70's expectations. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!