Day 31: Somethings Fishy!!!

I came home last night to my beautiful husband taking on the fatherly duty of making dinner for his hungry hoards that have been busy shopping. The smell that wafted through the house was that of melted cheese and creamy tuna bake.

At first glance it looked just like the recipe that I made up 25 years ago. The one that I proudly have presented to my family for nourishment at least once a week as we sat down as a family at the dinner table.

After breaking through the melted cheesy toasty top  there was a slightly different flavour. The girls were all congratulating their Dad for the best Tuna Pasta Bake they have ever tasted  as they are each took a bite of the creamy cheesey pasta that melted in their mouth...I must say it was pretty good and my ego was slightly tarnished by their efforts to build up their dad with praise.

After asking him what the difference was he explained to me something that had me literally gagging...

He said..."I was looking for cat food and accidentally" he paused right there and in my mind we had been eating the tuna meant for the cat....perhaps the jellied tuna mix of Wiskers was the difference in flavour! Then he continued..."I accidentally opened a can of creamed corn." My next thought was...did he scrape the creamed corn out of the cats bowl and repurpose it in our casserole?

After quizzing him further he reassured me the cat food was not the tuna he used and the creamed corn was only the stuff that was left in the can after he realised his mistake. Phew!

I did however check the empty cans just to make sure before I took another bite...the girls thought it was the funniest event of the day...and I admit it is a hazard of being married to a blind man...oh the recipes we have discovered over the years by not wasting cans that Deano has opened in error. This one happens to be a corker!

Deano's tuna bake...add...creamed corn not Cat food!

Day 30: Cane and Able

The white cane with the red tip is the most recognisable aide for the visually impaired. To a fully sighted person it acts as a warning and awareness tool that the beholder of such a device will need space to move freely. It is an internationally recognisable symbol that is nationally recongnised on one social day a year year in Australia know as the "White Cane Day"
We were invited once to an event called the "White Cane Dinner"at our local bowling club. It was a lovely time meeting up with people from all walks of life who celebrate using a white cane...I bet you didn't know such an event existed!

Blindman pushing stroller whil his toddler holds his cane outfront...not sure how effective this is but it made for a good picture

Information about the white cane

I remember a time when Deano and his Brother Lorin were working out what sort of cane they would like to use...I bet you didn't know there was different sorts of canes! Lorin had been in the US visiting his sister and doing a musical tour. When he arrived home he brought Dean a shiny white telescopic cane. The unusual part of this cane was that it looked to me like a retractable curtain rod...and to my surprise there was no red tip. Most of the western world to my knowledge recognised the white cane with the red tip as an indication that the carrier of such a devise was blind. I thought to myself...how on earth would anyone recognise this as a seeing eye cane...and I did express my concerns about it to my husband using his new cane as I felt it really would be confusing for people. However being that it was his newest toy my blindman insisted on taking it out for a spin. Departing on his usual trip to work with the confidence he carried with him every other day it was going to be a day like any other...so he thought...Within an hour I recieved a phone call from my man slightly distraught saying the cane was bent in two and he had to make his way through the city to work with his broken cane. Some person at the train station had jumped over the top of his cane landing on it. What a demise! Recently I read a blog post where a woman also said how powerful the red tip was on the end of the cane and how it changed her life....

Different kinds of cane tips

Ambutech an online store for cane users

"Hi all. I wanted to share an interesting experience I had today. Last week, I had my stick training lady come over, and she put some red reflective tape on the end of my cane to make it look like an american one. She said it would probably make a huge difference, and people would see it as a blind woman's cane, and not just an attractive white stick. lol. My hubby and I went shopping, and I took my cane as I always do. He asked me if I could go get some bread, while he went somewhere else to get something we had forgotten. So, I very shakily went off to get the bread. People were getting out of my way, and I thought, oh, ok. This is nice and easy! Then, we went to the complete other side of the shop to the car section. He had picked up the wrong orange juice, and so I said I would brave it back down the other end to get the right one. I was absolutely packing it! But I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. First, a young couple saw me coming, and quickly darted in front of me and sped off away from me. Then a guy went off to the baby section to get out of my way. I got the OJ and turned around to head back to my hubby. People were moving their trolley's out of the way, pulling their kids to one side, and even a walmart employee pulling one of them heavy crate things got out of the way. I have been a shelf stacker before and those things are awkward to maneuver, so I was actually planning to get out of her way. When I got back to my hubby and told him what happened, I decided to call my stick Moses. I know someone on here also calls their stick Moses, and now I know why!!!" Yay stick! Becky
It never seems to amaze me that the smallest things can change someones life so drastically!

Day 29: Greese Lightning

They say it takes two to tango. Marrying a blind man has its ups and its downs. There's times where I am flying and challenging times that I never ever contemplated when I agreed to wedding my lovely gentleman.

When I was young I loved going to church dances and being twirled around the floor by the young men that would ask me to dance. I loved watching old movie musicals such as Singing  in the Rain and anything with Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire and dreamed of a day when I would be swooned by a man with magical tapping feet and a firm hold. I loved to sing and music just makes me move all over. Being one of four girls, we all as sisters, seem to have the same daggy dance moves, like the girls out of the movie Muriel's wedding we were able to sing and dance to Abba like the best drag queens around. Every Monday night was family home evening night and this turned into a little girls concert night where the girls would sing , dance and perform in front of our parents and grandparents. We were little confident Divas in the making. 

High school dance group. The Blindmans wife middle back. Performing to Janette Jackson's Rhythm Nation

Diana Ross and The Supremely Tackies at a rehearsal for our performance at a Church concert

 Deano on the other hand not ever being able to see others dance always had a little bit of a complex about his moves on the dance floor. I happen to think his grooves are not too bad but I do end up with a slight hip ache doing the left and right shuffle on the dance floor when it comes to slow dancing.  

I have to take my hat off to him though,  when we were newlyweds he organised a few dates where we took dance classes,  albeit jive classes, we did try to get down and boogie in a semi coordinated fashion. We only took a few lessons until I relented that this blindman dances to his own beat. Not to mention that the dance instructor was frustrated with me and my left foot shenanigans and my uncontrollable urge to lead him around the floor. 

So for the past 25 years I have been the lead as I duck and weave my husband through the dancing crowd at church balls. My sore hip and aching feet have been a great excuse for me to get him to give me a massage when we get home. Whilst being swept of my feet like Sandy from Greece by Danny's grooving moves, I have sadly come to accept it's never going to happen in this life. I will settle for a man who's hands are his gifts and although he can't use them to twirl me around the dance floor as I had once imagined, he gives a awesome massage and that's gotta be better than anything John Travolta could do! 

Day 27: #TheBlock

How many blind men does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: Just 1! Yes in my family my husband and his ability to be the man about the house and do almost everything a dial-a-hubby would be able to is just the norm

Over the 25 years we have bought and sold houses five times and proudly I say that we have always (with help from some of our mates) done our own renovations. Deano is one of the most persistent men I have ever met. He never lets the small things get in his way. I've watched him use a drill, drop the screw a thousand times, and feel with the palm of his hands all around to find that teeny tiny screw and complete the job he set out to do. He does not give up or give in. I have watched him build me a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and laundry. I've helped him tear down walls, rebuild fences, and paint the the whole house from top to bottom. I have felt sick with the worry watching my blind husband walk across the roof to nail down the iron that was leaking, I have turned away and winced as he used a chain saw or a power saw, I have looked on as he hired cement trucks to poor slabs creating new water courses, a front verandah repair or a new carport surface and shed flooring. Not to mention the time he paved 80 square metres to create a herringbone driveway over a long weekend, paving until midnight just to get the job done before returning to work on the Tuesday morning.  He has used a nail gun to build bathroom hob for a replacement  bath tub and under the carful eye of his electrician mate he helped rewire our home.

Our first home was built in 1927. Before we purchased it, the building was the home for squatters, it was full of graffiti and syringes. We lovingly restored the horse and cart street sweepers dwelling over 7 years. When the water was switched off for us to have our bathroom renovated my husband sent me to live in my parents home a 6 hours drive away for three weeks. In that time he gutted the bathroom, rebuilt the walls and waterproofed the room. Only damaging his thumb by thwacking it with the hammer just once. I remember him ringing me with pain in his voice telling me his tail of woe, but not dwelling on the pain, changing the subject and asking me how our girls are fairing away from their Daddy for so long. 

Deano grinding away at our gyprock to make it smooth

 Deano is critical of his work but I am his biggest supporter. Even though the mitred joints may not meet up completely, the nails are not always the straightest and the cut tiles are not perfect, I love the work he does and can live with the flaws. Nobody we have sold our houses to have known it has been the work of a Blindman,  his work must pass the quality test. We recently visited our first house we lovingly restored 20 years ago and the owners had not changed a thing. Not even the wallpaper....he must be doing something right! 

Deano Cementing a water course

Laying  Bush rock for the water course

Water Course a happy place for day children to play in the summer heat in recycled rain water

When people say he is inspirational it is somewhat awkward. Deano lives to please himself, and his wife and to provide for his family. He does not ever see himself as inspirational to others. He humbly goes about his day just doing what he loves to...just as any sighted man would...catering for the needs of his family.

Preparing our pathways for paving

Completed paved courtyard in our first home

 Yes,  it takes him longer to create than anyone else (and sometimes this frustrates me) but this is his normal and that's what I remind myself especially when I see the dishwasher that still needs to be plumbed in a year after we have moved into our most recent address. I don't think that this delay is due to his blindness...it's a man thing!   Hint hint hubby dear!!! Ps I love you

Deano Building his tool shed

Completed renovation of our bedroom

Day 26: Fish Out of Water

You know the saying "Where's the photo...it never happened" or "the proof is in the pudding"?....since the invent of social media and smart phones it seems that every occasion needs to be supported by a visual picture of the event. My life prior to social media and especially the iPhone was recorded in my own journals and not much attention was paid to taking that photo that proved the event happened. In fact Dean treated taking photos as something really not important especially since he couldn't see them and enjoy the memory visually. Our camera was often left in the bottom drawer when we went out and as a result so many occasions where I would love to have a camera to take that happy snap, we just didn't have one around.

One such occasion was when we where sitting on the beach in Coffs Harbour. Deano the risk taker loves to go swimming way beyond the waves. He swims so far out beyond where he can hear me calling him...yes he swims often getting himself swept beyond the flags many a time. With me standing on shore holding the hands of three little girls jumping waves. Sometimes sheer panic would strike me thinking that he might get in a rip and never return to shore, but alas he is still here and still very much alive so I should really learn to stress less. 

This one particular time however my blind man was body surfing in the waves when I spotted a dark image riding the wave right beside him. My alarm bells started to go off all over my body as the worst thought entered my mind. As if I was Martin Brody from the movie Jaws seeing this enormous creature of the deep that was about to take a chunk out of the side of my husband, I started to yell and waving my arms like a woman on fire, having some sort of standing up seizure trying to capture Deano's attention. Of course he was in his own world enjoying the waves, too far out to hear my voice carry beyond the crashing sounds of the ocean beating up on the shore. Then I see another dark giant fish beside him on the opposite side this time. Checking he was still alive I stepped a little closer into the water and with that all of a sudden I see a dolphin leap right out of the waves. My panic turned to excitement. People pay a lot of money for this experience and here is Dean not even realising he is literally swimming with Dolphins in the wild blissfully unaware. No picture that I could have taken would have made a difference because to try and show him wouldn't have much impact because he couldn't see the proof on the paper anyway!

This year we were blessed to experience hand feeding wild dolphins at Tangalooma Island resort. Deano was told by the dolphin handler that this will be a special experience for him and for her because dolphins have instincts that are unexplainable. They seek out the injured, nurture the lame and pay attention to those who have special needs. As the people were each given a fish and slowly entered the water not just one dolphin came towards my husband but 5 dolphins made their way to him. Standing in amazement I watched as the dolphins took their turn swimming by him and touching their firm grey bodies on his legs to let this man know they were near. As he placed his hand with the fish in it under the water the dolphins took the fish and lingered so they could allow his hands to touch their snout. It really was a special experience and this time Dean was totally aware of what was happening. What a privilege it was for me to witness for a second time Deano having an encounter with these gentle creatures from the wild this time I did take a few pictures and our friends were there to see it happen. Very blessed indeed. 
Tangalooma wild Dolphin Feeding

Dolphin Feeding at Tangalooma with our mates from Viridian Energy Australia 

Day 25: Second Chance

People are so easily offended at times where no offence was meant to be. I remember one time when Deano was walking through the Childcare centre in which I worked and tripped straight over a baby bassinet that was on the ground at the approach to the centre. At the time he apologised to the slightly distraught mother and with no injury to the baby he kept walking into the centre to join me for lunch. At this point in time Deano was 6 months out of university searching for work. 

Later that day I got a dressing down from my boss telling me my blind husband ought to be more careful when entering into a Childcare situation. Not once did she choose to educate the parent around his condition or did she think to ask me about what she could do to improve the outcome in the future. Instead she used this as an example of my incompetence when she gave me my marching orders just one week later. I hadn't been at the job for more than a month and wasn't feeling a good vibe at the service, however I did need the work and was devastated  when I lost the job. Deano was really finding it challenging to obtain work. He sent out around 50 applications or so every couple of days. I was determined we would not be destitute.  It was the first time I had ever been fired and it was the last time too!

As the door closed on this job I remembered a Childcare service in a neighbouring suburb. I got in my little car and drove from my now ex-employer in the direction of our home. Following a instinctive prompting on my journey I changed my course, instead Of going home and wallowing in my missery, I drove myself over to the large building with cartoon characters plastered all over the front fence. Shaking and somewhat feeling of no worth I walked into the front door and asked to speak to the manager. I was totally in luck. I explained my plight to this lady who sat with gold jewellery dripping around her neck and from her ears, whose fingers had a gold and diamond ring on every digit which was adorned with extremely long fake nails. Showing her my qualifications I expressed how I would be happy to clean, be an assistant or work part time. My qualification that I have would entitle me to be a director of a small service  but I felt so low at this point that I thought surely I wasn't  good enough for that sort of position. 

Gwynn was the name of this woman whose face looked tough until she smiled. Looking at my Diploma  and sizing me up, she nodded her head and shook my hand. "Welcome on board" was her confident response. "That woman at the other Centre doesn't know what gold she is missing" From that point on and for the next year Gwynn saw in me what the previous woman had failed. Yes, she was a tough Boss, always a straight shooter keeping her staff in line, but she recognised in me that I was a hard worker. When she had no work in particular for me she found jobs I could do. Gwynn gave me the responsibilities of full time relief person for her 5 Childcare centres. I worked all over and felt really blessed by the opportunity. In the end Gwynn told me she really didn't like the owner of the previous centre I worked for, and at first, her choice to have me come on board was to prove to my old boss that she had made a big mistake. Then as time went on I truly lived up to her expectations. In the end, Gwynn this tough woman with a soft centre cried when I left her service . Gwynn now is the President of the Australian Childcare Alliance and CEO of Childcare QLD. 

Q&A - Gwynn Bridge President of the Australian Childcare Alliance and CEO of Childcare QLD

 I felt like this woman, although seen as a hard taskmaster to some really does love and care for those who come to work for her.  She was a great leader and still today I think about her and how I can reflect her leadership skills in my capacity as a business owner. I don't know if she even remembers me today, the 19 year old girl who was married to a blind man, but I will always remember her kindness. Her ability to see my need and her desire to help grow my confidence in this area of work I will forever be grateful for. Dean always felt welcome in her presence, and at a time when he struggled finding work Gwynn helped us feel a sense of security and that everything was going to be okay.

Day 24: Beware Mrs Darth Vader

The day we decided it was time for Deano to learn how to use his seeing eye cane we went to the holiday sea side town of beautiful Coffs Harbour. Lorin my blind brother-in-law and his wife also attended a week of mandatory classes before the boys would be allowed onto the streets using their newly acquired mobility devise...it was as if they were going for a drivers licence...but for visually impaired people moving around with a cane. 

When we agreed to attending cane training I didn't know what I was signing up for. Yes I thought it was Lorin and Dean who were enrolling in this unusual course...nope I was wrong...Five days laying in the sun with my toes in the water every now and then when it got just a little too hot, was what this little white whale thought she was doing for the week, no, wrong again, because we were all enrolled. Lucky for my sister-in-law(well not really) she got sick and ended up spending the week in the hotel bed...perhaps she was faking it after she found out what we were in for. 

How the heck was I enrolled, I thought when I said I'd be the support person that meant driving my blind man to the course and picking him up when the day was done with a warm meal on the table ready for his supper. Nope, not at all. 

Let me tell you a little  about what I had inadvertently signed up for in this holiday tourist destination on the eastern seaboard of Australia. On the very first day (remembering my sister-in-law was sick in bed so now I have two blind men to take with me) the three of us meet Gerry our trainer. Gerry is a softy spoken man, not like any personal trainer I've ever met before. Unlike the PT's at my local gym, who are ready to whip my butt into shape,muscle bound with a shiny golden tan and a presence that is a wee bit fearful, making you feel compelled to die doing 1000 star jumps or take one's last breath trying, because you'd rather do that than fail in their presence. No Gerry was not at all like that at all. He dressed in a white polo shirt, slender build with a big smile on his face carrying a broad British accent with a loveable twinkle in his eye. He warmly welcomes us to  "Camp Cane Training" and hands the boys their weapons. Two shines new canes with a red tipped end and a ball that spun at the bottom. This was kind of exciting. I liked seeing my guys getting presents especially ones that they would eventually be using their whole lives. But this is where the feel good part of this story ends! 

Gerry my new friend also hands me a white cane with a red tip and a ball on the end. Then looking at me with a wink and a crooked grin he hands me a second gift. It's something I, never in a million years, thought that I would be gifted. Growing up with a father who owned an industrial engineering shop I had seen men wear these to protect their eyes from blindness due intense light caused by the flames and sparks of welding. In fact I think it was my Dads hope that one of us daughters would take over the dirty welding shop when he was due to retire...that wasn't in my plan. I never had a desire to wear one and never have I been gifted one. Not until now, that is, and I was expected to adorn it every day for at least 5 hours a day for a week. That's not all...when I put on this gift the glass panel at the front had been painted out all except a small pin prick of a hole to replicate a person with tunnel vision. I felt so confronted, it was a strange overwhelming sensation. I truly perceived I had been robbed. I just wanted to take it off, alas this would defeat the purpose of the course. You see Deano and his brother needed me to go through this. As a support person it was essential for me to know physically and emotionally  the challenges these two men face. They don't get to take their mask off to make their sight better, so why should I. It was traumatic!!!

Instead of lying on the beach, my lot was to tap my way around the swimming pool area of the hotel, find the steps, ramps, fall zones, poles and doorways managing not to fall into the pool or strike any of the sun bathing guests. At this point I am glad they have given we a full mask because my face would have shown my flustered expressions and my sheer embarrassment of having to wear a mask that mutated everything I could once see. 

On the second day we took the party to the shopping centre. This was a whole new experience of dodging tourist and locals as they wandered around the shops. I'm not quite sure if they were staring at us...the two blind men and the crazy lady with the mask...or what they were thinking, but I do know that it didn't matter...all that mattered to me was that they stayed out of my way because I would die if I inadvertently hit someone with my stick. Yes the boys could get away with it cause they looked blind but this weirdo with the mask...what was her caper? Was she trying to be Darth Varder with a light sabre? Well at least that's what I would have been thinking if I was in their shoes. 

Days three and four and five were more of the same, lots of walking, down the beach, over Mutton Bird Island and through the shops over and over again, all the while I figured people were stopping to stare, but this I will never know because I could not see the passer bye reactions. My embarrassment was all in my head. Perhaps the whole township of Coffs Harbour were used to the sight of cane training happening in their city. 

The most frightening part of the PT sessions was the practice of crossing the road safely. Using my hearing to count cars and listen to them approaching and listening to them leaving, counting how fast (if they are doing the speed limit) it takes for them to advance towards us and how many counts it takes for us to decide they have passed by safely. Now try that with cars coming from both directions. Insanity! I tell you.

Fifteen years on I am ever thankful for that weird welder mask...I never thought I would have to wear one in my life and I never really want to wear one again. I did learn to be grateful for my sight that week. In spite of temporarily losing my eyes I did gain confidence that I could cope with whatever life throws at me. I learnt to have empathy for my husbands needs and to count approaching cars with my eyes closed! Yes I literally went bananas at the Big Banana! Oh the opportunities this life gifts us! Luckily I am one crazy lady and feel blessed by the insane experiences such as these. 

Day 23: #RollTheBones

Lorin and Dean Brothers with RP

Louise the boys sister who also has RP

The internet is a fascinating place for blind people. With adaptive technology it has opened up doors to people who otherwise would have minimal contact with the world due to lack of sight. I belong to a group on Facebook apply named Retinitus Pigmentosa, which also happens to be the name of the condition my husband and many other people throughout the world suffer. I've been told one in ten thousand people have the gene for this disease and it is a recessive gene. It takes two genes to make this come about. In some families I have been told that only the boys get it, in others, such as in my husbands family,(a family of 6 children) both the 2 boys and 1 of the girls inherited the condition. It is the leading cause of blindness in teenagers and in some families like ours the condition comes in to play early in life and in others not until they're older. It's almost like playing Russian Roulette with time for these people who carry both recessive genes. Not knowing when their hand has been dealt and they bid farewell to their site forever (or at least until there is a cure)  In this group on Facebook individuals  reach out to each other for advise and record their life time struggles. One young woman wrote this piece yesterday that touched my heart because she shares the same questions that both my blind husband, brother-in-law and sister-in-law have thought about and have shared with me over the years. Thanks Katey for allowing me to share this on my blog.

"Lately I've been thinking about how people view me (a legally blind individual).  How do they perceive me? Would their judgement of me change if they knew my story? Below are the top 5 things I wish complete strangers would know about me, a visually impaired individual. Feel free to share! 

1) It takes courage to step out the front door:  

I'll be honest... I worry... A LOT! Should I? No. But I do, and most of it's due to my constantly changing vision. Thoughts like: Will I walk into anyone today? Who's going to drive me to work? How will I find items in the grocery store? What if there's an emergency? What will people think of my seeing eye cane? Will they think I'm faking it? AHHHH! The "What If!?" factor of life when losing vision is insanely stressful... but what would make it less stressful? If people around me knew my worries. Maybe instead of a mean stare when I accidentally bump into someone, I could get a "Hey, no worries!" instead...  or if I whip out my cane to help alert people I have poor vision (but can still operate my phone) I'm able to do so without someone assuming I'm "faking it"... What a lovely life that would be eh? 😉 

2) I still want to partake: 

I enjoy my family and friends, and I enjoy socializing! Will there be some obstacles to overcome? Yes, but with your help I'd be more than happy to go to the bar, movies, mall, or concert! Invites are always welcome (whether you think I'll be able to see or not). It's the thought and support that counts! 

3) I have a future and goals, just like you: 

I'm often asked "What are you going to do with your life if you can't see?" My answer? Get an education, have a secure job, start a family, and reach every goal I've ever wanted to accomplish. Sounds like a regular persons response right? Well it is! Believe it or not, I can be just as successful as you! Life is never going to be "normal" with this condition, and I've learned to accept that. But you know what life WILL be? What I make it. 

4) I desperately want what I can't have: 

You know that drivers license in your wallet? I once had one of those... but voluntary gave it up due to becoming legally blind. You know that job  you hate? I would give anything to be able to work it. You know those stars you see at night while camping? I've never seen one in real life. You know the places you go to visit? I hope to see those one day before it's too late... Now, this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway... Everyone has something that another person wants... that's life! But it doesn't mean we can't grieve the loss of something we once had, or accept the desire to want more. 

5) Life goes on, and so do I: 

I've been dealt a hand that has challenged me, brought me to my knees (literally!) and made me question EVERYTHING. Can I keep asking "Why me?" Sure. But what's that going to get me? Absolutely nothing. What I can do however, is accept the hand I'm dealt, play it as best as I can, and #RollTheBones in this game called life! 

Much love, Katey Duppong" 

Day 22: Opa!!!

When we first got married my blind husband and I were the gracious receivers of some beautiful wedding presents. Being as poor as mice we started our life based on the generosity of others. Yes we got married back in the day when couples started with nothing, and built a life with each other learning to live frugally live and learning to appreciate the small things in life.

I remember just 6 weeks into our wedding we literally had no money and it was Deano's 22nd birthday. On a meagre budget I saved up enough money to buy him a few blocks of his favourite cheese. 

So when we were gifted the simplest presents, you know, knives, forks, spoons, sheets, iron, kettle, glasses, plates and the list goes on, we were so grateful for all that we were generously given and recognised that helped us tremendously in our life. 

I soon learned that we might have to replace a few of these presents sooner than we had planned. Partly my fault. You see,  I wasn't use to being a wife of a blind man, it was almost as if Deano's heritage should have come from the Greek Gods.

Greeks I believe love a bit of plate smashing. My blind man, whilst he doesn't exactly find the process of dropping plates on the ground a thrill, his technique was class A1. 

Whenever I left a plate to close to the edge of the bench, and it was my Blindmans turn to clean the kitchen, inevitably there would be a smashed item of dinnerware. Glass drinking  tumblers were the worst. We had replaced at least 20 glasses within the first year of marriage with plastic drink-ware. Our dishes were replaced with melamine, thats until I got the hang of where to leave them on the bench,  where they were not to close to be swept right off by an unseeing eye. 

These days 25 years on we are back to a mix of porcelain and melamine in our cupboard. (Only because it looks a little odd to our dinner guests serving their meals on plastic plates) For our guests we also still have the odd piece of glassware, but for the rest of us, we drink out of plastic cups or have a hot cuppa out of an enamel mug. I agree, to the outside world, visitors to my kitchen must think it looks like we are ever ready to take off on our next camping trip or we are eternally going on picnics...but hey it's practical and at least I'm not sweeping up glass every other day. First world problems- I know! 

Day 21: Big City Lights

For a woman that has to be the eyes for two people most of my day it can be sometimes overwhelming especially in a crowded jungle of the city streets. When we were younger it was most definitely easier to navigate the elbow to elbow sea of people because it simply didn't exist in the country towns we chose to live in to raise our girls. I simply couldn't imagine living in a busy city like Sydney and have to get 4 little ones and a blind man safely across the road...not even in the so called sleepy country city of Brisbane. Everyone moves so quickly, and streets filled with people and traffic would have crushed our little growing family, or so I perceived. Yes to cope we chose a town that only had one set of lights and the most exciting thing happening was when McDonalds decided to open a store. 

However as the girls got older and my Blindmans career progressed he ended up taking a job in the city. Yes Brisbane was the destination of choice and I was petrified. Taking risks had not been part of my massive action plan at the time, and to me moving to a city, I considered, was a "big risk." Deano had to get himself into the city to work via public transport and that was a very new experience. 

Hustle and Bustle of Queen Street Brisbane

Crossing unknown roads by himself, getting on and off trains without my assistance, navigating bustling crowds and  waiting in lines at the bus station. I mean how does a blind man know when to hale a bus when he can't read the time table and see the bus number let alone see the bus approaching! His hearing was what he relied on along with the trusty cane.

When it came to catching public transport the train was the mode of choice. It really just all came down to the fact that the train guard announced over loud speaker the trains arrival time and where it was due to stop. Trains are predictable. Others on the platform would recognise the need for him to be guided and would often offer to help Deano on and off the carriage. Most people were exceptionally kind to Dean and would offer him up their seat. Being the agile person he is, Deano would often refuse not wanting to take a needed seat away from others who were aged, pregnant or had a "real disability" (because being blind isn't a disability) Yes it was decided that the train was the safest mode of transport for this man. 

It wasn't the train that scared me. It was the stories that he would tell me after his safe return, or someone else would tell me that had spied Dean on his journey to work that had me quacking in my boots.

One such occasion was when a friend who was volunteering at the local school watched Dean cross the road. Yes he waited at the lights and, yes, he heard the lights change when the beeping of the light went from a slow pulse to a fast pulse, however the road was a two way 4 lane tee intersection and for some reason Deano had gotten the beeping sound mixed up as to which set of lights were changing. My blind man deciding it was his turn to cross stepped out onto the four lane road. My friend watched in horror from afar as she was on the other side of the oval witnessing what she though was going to be complete carnage or an absolute miracle. (This road is one of the busiest roads in all of Brisbane) As Deano stepped out into the traffic that is usually flying down that road in a hurry to get to early morning destinations, not one car, bus, truck or bike moved. He crossed safely without a scratch to tell the tale. In fact to this day Deano said he realised he was crossing against the lights once he arrived on the opposite side of the road when the beeping of the lights he was facing was that slow pulse still. Not knowing that a friend had witnessed what had happened I am sure the story would have been kept safely hidden in Dean's memory bank of close calls that he doesn't like to share with me (until years have passed) as it triggers my own anxieties.

You see it's the story our mind writes that creates anxiety. My anxious mind sees Deano getting injured...Deano's risk taking, cool calm and collected mind does not even contemplate danger. Just do it and worry about the consequences later, (that's even if there are any consequences), is his school of thought...and look to be honest I have to agree (although I wouldn't tell him to his face) 99.9 percent of the time he is right! 

Here we are 10 years later telling the story. Even though we have moved a little further out of the city, this kind of living must be growing on us and to tell you the truth...it's not that bad after all!  

Day 20: Hats off to Adaptive Technology

I just want to put it out there....where would families that have individuals within them that rely on adaptive technology be? It is the genius behind the  scientific know-how that have literally been a game changer for my Blindman and our family. I owe it to these tech wizards to give them a tilt of my hat and say a warm thank you for improving our lives. 

The creators of the program Jaws changed our lives overnight. During Deano's second time round at university he was introduced to this technical knowledge that has helped him throughout the last ten years of his life. For a blind person these technology specialists are as important as the Victor Changs in the world who do amazing feats to improve people's lives. (For those of you who remembers the 80's Victor Chang was one of Australia's leading heart transplant surgeons and to him many people throughout the world should be thankful for his skilled hands and clever thinking.) 
Freedom scientific website for access to Jaws
Dr Victor Changs website

A whole new world of descriptions opened up to my husband when Jaws came into our lives. No longer did I have to read and describe all that was in print on the computer. All Deano has to do is tab across on his keyboard and the words are automatically read to him. Just like that a man that had been trapped in a prison, where the written word was locked away from him unless someone offered him a partial pardon and read the words to him, all of a sudden was free to discover the written word for himself. 

Yesterday I met a woman named Laura who is one such innovator. Laura worked for Westpac and over the years soon discovered the need for people with low vision to have somewhere to store life's important documents. Listening to a low vision client of hers, who happened to be a lawyer, she actioned his need to be able to automate the process of having 100 points of ID. For a blind person to carry identification around in their wallet, know which piece of identification is needed and present it at the appropriate times can be difficult. To have a file of this stored in a secure online location that could be only accessed with the permission of the said individual might just be another game changer for people with low vision through the world.
Upload Once is the name of Laura's website. Check it out!

Whilst Deano was at university he was part of a committee to help make the university more accessible to students with special needs. During this time we came across a site called Bobby. Quoting from their website  "Bobby is the name CAST gave to the free public service it launched in 1996 to automatically analyze accessibility features of web sites. It cleverly capitalized on the iconic British Bobby policeman and became an instant hit. For nearly 10 years, Bobby helped make the World Wide Web more accessible to individuals with disabilities. Novice and professional Web designers alike analyzed and made improvements to millions of Web pages." So business through out the world can now ensure that the Gods of technology work their magic touch and open up their business to a whole scope of individuals who would have otherwise not been able to access their products or service without the help of someone else reading to them. 
Bobby website link

Even the humble phone has changed and since the invent of the Apple iPhone business and personal transactions and communications have changed for the better. Thanks to Suri and the accessibilities functionality of this devise my blindman can send txt messages, answer a touch screen phone,(because where is the call button on a flat screen? Right!) and send emails directly from his phone like a pro. 
Adaptive technology is not just for the blind. It's for all people who find a need to communicate in a different way to others. 
Other adaptive technology helping people with needs through out the world

So today this post is dedicated to those whom have spent their life thinking out of the box, for the good of people who need out of the box ways of functioning. We salute you for your outstanding life changing achievements. There must be s special place in heaven for people like you.

Day 19: The Naked Truth

The Blindman's Wife, The Blindman, Rob McFadden Viridian Vice President and Ed Kenny Millionaire Circle Viridian

One of those life events happened to me last night. It didn't just happened to me but it happened to a new, very new friend that I have made since starting my new career move.  

No this has nothing to do with network marketing and yet without this life change I wouldn't have had this spotlight moment to remember and neither would my dear friend. 

Let me set the scene. Our new duo of friends and ourselves went out to a party where the theme was green. Not to be outdone by anyone else this awesome foursome took to the street clad in their green attire. Myself and my blind man dressed from the green loving 70's hippies era and our new pals became toy green soldiers. Lining the car seats with plastic they climbed into the go kart bus and shared a lift to the venue. Once arrived the finishing touches of hand paint were applied to these would be plastic soldiers in the making. Meticulously I helped apply the green ink to their  hands, neck and face so their skin glowed an iridescent camouflage colour, and as I painted my new friend (I will call him Bazza to protect his identity) he dropped his keys on the ground. Thinking that they were the keys to the apartment I placed them in my handbag so they would not get lost. 

70's Disco fever with the Blindman and his wife

The night was great and Bazza and his wife looked amazing taking out the $500 prize. After we arrived back at the would be plastic green toy army mess to retire for the evening things started to get interesting. Perhaps I should say this is more of a 70's free love shack for those that clad themselves in the era of smoking pot and sharing of themselves parts that only ten years prior would have been unthinkable. 

Bazza and his Wife the Green Plastic Toy Soldier Wanna Be's

Deano and I had the ensuited room and Bazza and his lovely wife had the second room. At around 12.30am having a shower to wash all the seventies gunk of my body, hear a vocal commotion coming from the second room..."I've lost the car keys! Deano can we have your car keys to hunt around for ours in your car" Me under the shower didn't realise that the keys I picked up were for Bazza's rental vehicle until about 5 min later. 

Quickly I jump out of the warm toasty water to whip a fluffy white towel around my body. Standing on the 15th floor balcony in the dead of night I lean over and sung out to the couple frantically looking for keys.(this has not been a great day for them and this car as some scum of the earth had broken into their car and stole Bazza's wife's handbag with all her belongings, phone, make up, wallet...in the process smashing the cars window.) "Hey guys I've found your keys" Hearing me these two ant like fingers looked up with Bazza calling back "Great" and then proceeding to lock our car.

My next fatal thoughts were...grab the keys and drop them on their bed so their hunt is over. I did that pretty swiftly, remembering I am only clad in a towel I run and hop back into the shower...leaving the bedroom door slightly open.

Showering finally done I get out once again to go back to my suitcase to find fresh clothing. As I step out into the wilds of my bedroom in all my naked glory to my surprise we have a visiting wilder beast. Yes! Bazza was standing there at the door that I had inadvertently left open thanking Deano for the returned keys. He had not realised what his eyes were about to see, and could never ever, not without a great deal of psycho therapy and still I don't ever think he will unsee this expanse of a woman standing starkers before him...talk about free love or what! Deano said the look on his face was priceless...one worth of blogging about! (Don't know where that comment came from considering he can't see!) I know the look on my face was that of horrifying shock...absolutely  and utterly terrified. I don't think I have ever seen a man move so quickly, Usain Bolt had nothing on Bazza with the speed he left the room, if there was an Olympic record for how quickly a man could exit an awkward situation Bazza would have gold!

Shutting our door all I could do was belly laugh...I'm still chucking writing this blog. We belly laughed through the walls of this apartment for a good hour until our shame put itself to bed. To me I have never been seen naked( apart from bits of nakedness during medical procedures) by a sighted man ever. I have never ever shown this body to a man, that could see, and thought in my lifetime I would never have to. Mentally I was not prepared for a naked sighted man viewing. 

For the past 25 years the judgments of my blindman were not of a sighted nature. It's been all about the feel and never about the actual. My mind has been processing this for the last few hours and my only response which I believe is the response of champions is to laugh! I learnt at a very young age from the example of my Mum whenever she found herself embarking on an embarrassing situation would laugh. One time my three year old sister leaned out of the window of the car and sang out to one friend who was crossing the road "This is my mum and she's fat" My mums embarrassed response was a big belly laugh. To this day when that story repeated we all laugh even Mum! 

So today with your feet up on this sleepy Sunday afternoon I herby give you permission to laugh with the Blindman's wife and remember that the  beached rare white whale "Migaloo" on the 15th floor of a Gold Coast apartment can also laugh at traumatic situations regardless of what life throws at her. And have a little silent prayer for poor Bazza who now deals with a picture in his mind that he never would've contemplating seeing in his whole life. This body born in the 70's is a great testament to that era. I was just living up to the 70's expectations. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! 

Day 18: Single Mum plus One

Today was one of this surreal days. I felt like i needed two of me. I now know what single parents feel like when they have children needing to be at two destinations at once...Dean was helping with a tree planting event at the launch of our new network marketing company and I was conducting a trade show at the children's network conference where we gather sales for our go kart hire. It started out at 5am with Deano the blind man spending the day before packing the truck and getting all needful items ready. Then it was all systems go with setting up trade stalls, marquise and Bbq  set up at the tree planting, getting older daughters accommodation sorted, helping a friend who's car got brocken into, attending a launch party and now falling into bed...ready to do it all again tomorrow. How do single parents do it! Have all their kids at different destinations at the one time. I really think sometimes I am a single mum plus one! But I wouldn't have it any other way! 

Here is a clip of out tree planting event. Dean and out 12 year old daughter are both in there. See if you can pick the blind man...very hard to cause he looks and is doing everything everyone else is involved in. So proud of him!

Green Urban Guru doing his thing with his mates helping the environment