"Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way" These are the words from a popular hymn that they sing in the LDS church (Mormon Church)...now I should refer to my religion as it's proper name 'The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints' but we have known in the world as Latter-Day-Saints, LDS or Mormon. Rarely are we referred to as Christian, but to all that really know us, would realize that we are Christian and believe in Christ as our Redeemer, Saviour and King. The words to this song "I am a Child of God" was a song that I had learnt as a wee little child. When I met Dean it took on a whole new meaning for me.
For this young special man in my life I literally became his guide. A little less in the beginning of our relationship. Dean was able to get himself around the university and all other familiar surroundings, but understandably as we went anywhere new he held onto my arm or hand and I would verbalize where and when to take a step...it took me a while to practice the timing of when to tell him to step as I had to pace my instructions with the timing of our walking and giving him enough time to cognitively comprehend my instructions. There have been times when I miss timed instructions and it almost had dire consequences.
One such time was when we were on a date at Movie world and Dean really wanted to go on the Lethal Weapon Ride. I am not one for roller coasters but I told him I would help him line up in the queue and assist him to board the ride. I completed my task on getting him on the ride but on dismount Dean's understanding of my instructions on where to walk must not have been that great or clear because he almost stepped right of the edge of the platform. I had to yell stop before he took the last almost fatal step and walked right of the end of the netted 4-5meter drop below. At least he stopped at the last minute and after my panicked heart settled to a normal rate I can look back and laugh a little at how absurd we would have looked to the attendants. After all Dean didn't have a cane at this stage therefore anyone around us would have considered him sighted and treated him as such. Dean liked it that way. He was and still is in a way fearful of judgment of others to the point that he didn't want to be seen as different and therefore treated any differently to those around him. Fearful in the sense that he was anxious of being labeled as disabled and thus other people around him limiting his opportunity for living his life to the full.
Dean's parents had raised him and his older brother as if they were sighted children. No special consideration was given to them. Being from a family of 6 children the boys were expected to pull their weight around the house. Expected to mow the lawn, expected to clean their rooms, do the dishes, and clean out the car and wash it every Saturday. It was normal for the boys to deliver junk mail in their neighbourhood for years as teenagers in order to save some pocket money. In every way they had a conventional upbringing so it has been a joyful experience married to a man who has the confidence to carry on with life despite obstacles literally being in our way.
As Dean's sight condition has changed over the time we have been an unchangeable unit in that I have leant to know when Dean needs me to guide him and when I can let go and let him guide me through life. When we get out of the car now Dean has 5 of us in the family that will help guide him through the car park or avoiding objects in shopping centres and the like. Our girls will often say to me "Mum can you take Dad's hand cause that is your job" I just look at them and laugh and say no it's my job to love your Dad and so it is your job and as part of that job you can help your Father too!" This blindness thing is also guiding my children to serve others and in serving others we are serving our Saviour. What a blessing indeed.
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