Where it all began

It all started when I was 14. Sitting in an English exam in an all girls high school, Penshurst Girls High. The hall was so quiet. 150 plus girls sitting at tables all in rows with only the whirls the fans and the distant traffic making movement in my head. I really hate English as it is not my most accomplish subject. My heart is pounding as I am a nervous exam sitter. I hate to lose and as such it makes me very nervous to sit a test to see how well I am doing at anything.

"Turn the page over it is time to read your paper" announces a voice of authority from the front of the hall. At first the words are all a bit of a blur. Perhaps this is because I needed glasses, perhaps it was the nerves or it may have been the dyslexia that later on in life I have discovered effects me profoundly, non the less the words were there and not much sense was being made in my head.
I closed my eyes took a deep breath and let my heart rate drop a little before saying a silent prayer."Please God, help me calm down and understand this passage so I can do well in this exam, Amen"

To my amazement I opened my eyes and felt calm for the first time that morning. I started to read the passage. I can not remember the passage word for word but I do remember the content and I can recount the story. There was once a young father who lived at home and was a single dad to one loving daughter. The daughter went to school everyday and the father stayed home to look after the house and take care of the house work. The father in the story was illiterate and the daughter who was about the age of 9 would assist her Dad in preparing the family meals. Money being a scarcity in this small household every purchase counted. The dad wanted to surprise his daughter with a lovely afternoon treat of lychee and ice-cream. He went to the pantry before his daughter came home from school and opened a can of what looked like lychees, but once the can was opened he realised that the can contents was in fact pealed potatoes.

I got to this point in the exam and my heart sank. I just felt for this parent. I wanted to help him. My eyes began to fill up with water and my nose began to drip. All I could do was imagine how hard it would be to be a parent who could not read. I sat up in the exam and looked around. Why was i the only one crying? Didn't any one else read the same story I had on my paper. I began to sob a little and mourned the missed opportunity for that parent to surprise his loved child....Am I going crazy,,,perhaps I am...or maybe not.

Sometimes in our lives we are touched by moments that will effect us forever, This was one of those moments for me that came flooding back to my memory when I met my now husband Dean.

I am a firm believer that when an opportunity comes into your life to appreciate others and assist them on their journey then you must take it and run with it. This is what has dictated my life's decisions and I can't at all say that it has been easy but I can say that it has been worth it.

When I was 15 my parents decided it was time to leave the big smoke of Sydney and take their 4 girls to the smallest country town they could find on the map in NSW. The took us to a town known as Coraki population 801. It was just a 30 minute drive from Lismore and a 50 minute drive to Ballina. For me it was an adventure of a life time. To my sisters especially my oldest sister who worked for my parents at the time it was social suicide. My two younger sisters just came along for the ride. Now having 4 teenage daughters of my own I know why my parents took us to Coraki and sometimes I wish I could make that same decision to escape the traps of teenage years myself. But with social media how it is today I don't think there is anywhere to escape to.


I went to Lismore High School and met a great friend who caught the bus with me every day. I wasn't a boy crazy girl but I did have a type of boy I liked, Jason Donavon was the type of young man I could see myself with, you know the good looking boy next door with a blond wave at the front of his hair and a lovely smile.

 I was settled into the new routine and being a Mormon girl loved going to church and taking my new friends with me and being part of this loving community. I was given the opportunity to chorister for our church so every Sunday I would wave my arm in the air to the time of the music and lead the congregation in the hymns. I was 17 at this stage and had never really had a steady boyfriend. Just the odd guy who wanted to kiss me at any party I would go to but not really anyone who ever asked me out on a date. I really think that my parents liked it that way.

One balmy hot Sunday while I was waving my arm to the music a young good looking man walks into the chapel a little late but none the less very confident in his walk. He sat down in the front row and with me looking down on the congregation I got a really good look at this fine piece of Gods workmanship. He was wearing a tawny coloured suit with a skinny tie and brown leather shoes. His hair was like a golden wave that framed his crystal blue eyes that appeared to twinkle when they looked in my direction.

When the hymn was over I took my seat in the congregation next to my younger sister and whispered to her... "Did you see the guy that came in late? How hot is he!" My darling sister leaned over to me and silently said back to me with a wink "He is so cute but I am way to young, you can have him" My sister was 14 at the time....I just laughed. The church service seemed to go on and on forever and then finally after the last song and prayer I noticed my youth group leader approach the dashingly attractive young man...they talked for a little while and then I took my cue to introduce myself.

It turns out that this heavenly looking young man named Dean Nicholson had just finished serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and had come to Lismore to study an Environmental Science degree at the University of New England. He was late as he had to catch a taxi cab and the cab got lost. He did not know anyone in town and needed a lift home. I took this as my cue to enlist my mother to invite Dean over to our house for dinner and then we would take him home after. Mum thought this was a great idea and so did Dean (I think)

At my house we learned that Dean could not drive as he had poor sight, non the less he loved to cycle and had brought his bike to Lismore with him as his first choice in transport. Dean grew up as one of 6 siblings with 2 boys and 4 girls making up the mix and although he was born in Wollongong his parents moved to Tamworth when he was 4 years old, so he grew up in the country and loved the country life. Wow! Not only was he good looking but he was a cowboy to boot! I really wanted to spend some more time with this young man.

Every Sunday Mum offered to pick Dean up for church and bring him back to our place for dinner. Mum just loved being a host to Dean. Dean was so nice to talk to, never disagreeable, always kind and made time for my little sisters as much as he did for me. Mum fell in love with Dean before the rest of us and treated him like her own son. If Dean mentioned he liked chocolate cake mum would have one on the table in a flash, if he said that he had a hankering for a lasagna Mum would make herself busy in the kitchen whipping up her best packet mix Italian pasta. My Mum is just a sweetheart.

Church always had us busy. If we were not going to church dances or participating on a Sunday there was always a beach activity or a swimming carnival to go to. After 3 months of getting to know Dean whom was 21 at the time I began to see him as a great friend. Never considered him as a love interest though as he was 3 years older and I was only 17. Never the less I did spend a lot of time with him. 

The swimming carnival was late one evening on the Gold coast and it was getting dark around the pools edge. Dean stayed very close to my side all night. I just thought he was being super friendly. When we got into the back seat of the car we were getting a ride home in he took his left hand and placed it on mine and linked his fingers through mine. My heart raced a million miles per second. Not a word was spoken between us just a tight squeeze of my hand let me know that he was thinking about me. So many thoughts rolled through my mind. I am still in year 12 why does he want to be with me? Wow what will i tell my friends? Should I keep this a secret? Will he ask me out on a date? What will my parents think? It was the longest ride home but the most exciting and romantic thing that had ever happened to me at this point in my life. When we got out of the car Dean gave me a polite hug and said goodnight.

Still to this day I wonder what were the thoughts going through his mind during that journey home but the one thing that was clear to me is that he did intend on making our relationship as friends a little stronger and I felt the same.

Dean became the Young Men's youth group leader in our Lismore area of the church. We would often go to the Gold Coast to meet other youth groups for church dances held in the Isle of Capri chapel. It was such a long trip there so we would camp overnight. On one of these nights it was raining and all of the girls did not want to get out of the car to put the key in the gate to unlock the gate to the camping area. So Mum asked Dean to get out and put the key in the lock. Dean being so kind and obliging did as he was asked and got out in the rain. As the headlights lit up the area in front of the car, through the beams of light catching each water droplet it looked as though Dean was disoriented. He walked with his arms out in front zig zagging like he was stunned by the headlights, almost looking like he was drunk. All of us thinking that Dean was pulling prank laughed at him as he felt his way across the car and slid the door open and sat in his seat defeated. That night we were stunned to learn that Deans eyes did not work at all at night and in fact he had total night blindness. A hush blew over the car and I quickly got out of the car in the rain and put the key in the slot to open the gate. Everyone apologised and the incident was not mentioned again for a very long time.

Later on that week Dean thought it was a nice idea to come and visit me in Coraki. He rode his bike 23klms in the middle of the afternoon heat to see me. At this point in time my parents were renting an old convent from the Catholic church and as such it had huge verandas that surrounded it and and stained glass windows along with dark ornate stained wood staircase that reminded me and my sisters of the one from Gone with the Wind. The hall in the front foyer was rather dark compared to the outside light of the sun so it was no surprise to mum that when she asked Dean to come in he tripped on the front step but what did surprise her was what followed. Not only did Dean trip over the step he knocked over the hat stand and bumped into the stair railings and took his shoulder out on the door jam to the lounge room. Once Dean got into the lounge room he found his way to the lounge and sat down. Mum being mum quickly offered him a cool drink and sat and made small talk until I arrived home from school. When she heard me pull into the drive way she excused herself and made a dash for the car. I clearly remember her face was like she had seen a ghost. She had so much concern in her voice saying as she rung her hands through the end of her apron " Janelle, Hun,  Dean is here. He has ridden all the way from Lismore in the hot sun. I am really worried about him, he has crashed into everything on the way into the house and he looks like he has sun stroke. I think we better keep him here for the night and keep an eye on him"

Well I wasn't about to disagree with her. I would love to have him come and stay for the night, After all we had 10 bedrooms in this monstrosity of a house and Dean could have his very own room here. After the hand holding episode of a few weekends ago I certainly did want to spend more time to get to know him and it was obvious to me that Dean wanted more time with me, why else was he riding 23klms to Coraki population 801? It certainly wasn't for the fish and chips at the local. This was the fist night we kissed....but I will not go into details and I will leave that up to your imagination. It was just a kiss and nothing more :)

The following Sunday Dean's father John arrived in town to visit him and check on how he was settling in his new digs and University studies. I got to meet John for the first time and we had an interesting conversation about Dean. I mentioned to John our encounters with Dean's night blindness and him running into the furniture after being exhausted after his long ride to my house. John had a little laugh under his breath but as he did his face turned deadly serious. He told me that Dean had a condition known as Retinitus Pigmentosa (RP). He further went on to explain that this is like a form of tunnel vision. Dean had less than 10% vision and was considered legally blind and had total night blindness. Dean was going to lose all of his sight over the coming years and would need to use a cane in years to come. Wow what! Can you repeat that? (I thought to myself) Dean with those beautiful crystal clear eyes can not see...and further more he has 2 blind siblings his older brother and youngest sister also have RP. This is a hereditary condition that is a recessive gene that will be passed onto his children.

After learning all of this new information about Dean one might think that I would not want to have a relationship with him, maybe too much for a girl so young to handle. Perhaps one might think there are way more fish in the sea, why take the one that is damaged...but to me Dean was perfect just the way he was. Those inconsistencies about him made Dean who he was. A young man willing to give life a go and not sit back and let life pass him by. He was my Jason Donovan but only better...Dean has his good looks but does not see me for my looks he sees me for who I really am and sees my potential. Dean right there and then taught me to go after the things I want in life and don't let anything stop me. It was at that moment when John was discussing Dean's eye's that the story from my exam came flooding back to my memory. The Dad that could not read...but was still making a go of looking after his child. I could suddenly see my future with Dean and our family.

 There was so much more to learn about Dean and there still is...his ability to experience life differently to me fascinates me even 24 years later...and this is what my blog is about...our family, our experiences and how we manage to make it through this world together...I hope you enjoy this blog as I see it as my journal of the true blessings that have accrued in our life and that will yet occur.