Vietnam : Seven Good Reasons

So why Vietnam and what the heck are you doing over there? Up until now my life has been on an interesting path….one that is out of the ordinary….there are so many reasons why we have chosen Vietnam to explore and take advantage of work opportunities while they exist.

Reason 1: I grew up in the 70’s and early 80’s when the Vietnam War was in full flight. Children who looked different to me started appearing at my south side suburban Sydney school. A girl called Tu Lee and a boy name Phat. Tu Lee was in my sisters’ class and became good friends to my older sibling. We got to know her and found out she was a refugee form a conflict that was merely eight and a half hours plane ride from my school but for some reason not understandable to my eight year old brain Tus’ family came by a small wooden boat. This always intrigued me.

Reason 2: By the time I reached high school in my second last year History class in the late 80’s the syllabus was all about the after effects of the discord between neighbouring countries in this region of the world. Remembering this was an era that still depended on text books for teaching about historical events and current events were kept up to date via the newspapers delivered by the paper boy at your front door. I was given an assessment by Mrs Smith my History teacher to collect any article I could find in the local news about Vietnam and Cambodia. I was dumb founded by the horror that I discovered. People being killed, skulls piled up high in photographs of evidence of mass slaughters. Children being born with deformities because of exposure to chemical warfare, people who had limbs missing due to land minds and little innocent children losing fingers and toes and having chronic skin conditions having been covered in a mist of yellow vapour that masked everything in its path of destruction. Agent Orange was an herbicide that desolated everything in its path….not just the jungle clearing within a week but also all those who came into contact with it…including US and Australian troops and the local people. My heart went out to all those involved and I had a strange feeling that one day I would see this land first hand.

Reason 3: In the mid 90’s I made friends with a beautiful family who had 5 daughters. Four of the daughters were of natural birth and the fifth daughter Kelly was adopted from an orphanage in Vietnam when she was a toddler. Kelly was the same age as me when we met…21…but she seemed so much younger. She had a childlike innocence about her and I bet she still does today. Kelly had brain damage. The Australian doctors had found shrapnel in her head and also the remains of nails that had been driven into her skull by witch doctors to cure the shrapnel injury. (Side note…I don’t think the Witch Doctor obtained a legitimate degree) When I had each of my babies I made sure that Kelly had the opportunity to nurse them with her good arm while we sat in church each Sunday. I could tell by the massive smile on her face that babies made her happy and that she longed for one of her own. Her maternal instincts were ever present in spite of her acquired brain injuries. Kelly and her loving family touched my heart.

Reason 4: I have heard it said that Mormons are a peculiar people….I would have to 100% agree with you. Mormons believe in latter-day revelation. We believe in personal revelation by one who is ordained to give a special patriarchal blessing that can help guide us in our own journey. “Every worthy, baptized member is entitled to and should receive a patriarchal blessing, which provides inspired direction from the Lord. Patriarchal blessings include a declaration of a person’s lineage in the house of Israel and contain personal counsel from the Lord. As a person studies his or her patriarchal blessing and follows the counsel it contains, it will provide guidance, comfort, and protection.” Lds.org. Both my husbands, my own and daughters Patriarchal blessing has guided us to this point in our lives, and yes some might think this is peculiar...taking life instructions from a blessing granted unto us...but everyone is on their own journey in this life and who is to judge us for the value we place on our spiritual connections. Each to their own I say!

Reason 5: I attended an Anthony Robbins seminar last year and met a woman whose life enthralled me. Her name is Minh and she was also a refugee from Vietnam. Her family came over by boat when she was two. As a child she said she felt that it all happened as if it was a story about another little girl and not exactly happened to her….this was until she saw footage of her being held by her parents in the boat and a documentary was made about her family and other survivors of this journey including encounters with pirates and wild high seas weather. Her story fascinated my imagination. I have link her documentary to my page so you can see for yourself. 

Reason 6…Employment…straight up…Although Dean runs his own business we would love to travel more and have an income stream outside of Australia. Although Dean can’t physically see the world he can certainly experience it. Teaching is a way we can give back to the world and is a job that Dean is totally capable of doing.

Reason 7: This is the most important reason….Deano and I love adventure. We have moved home 19 time in 25 years and we live to seek out new challenges, meet new people, and do new things. It’s a way of keeping our lives exciting.

Here I am on a reconnaissance mission really…to study while Deano is back home packing up our lives and all the while I checking out the possibilities for our future. It’s all so very exhilarating knowing our life is going to change once again!

So I invite you to read along, make comments, ask questions as I let you know about the strange yet thrilling experience that I am having here in Vietnam…and share with me the sights, the culture but perhaps not the smells that come from this fascinating land with it smiling kind hearted people. 

Parting is such Sweet Sorrow

Just over 8 weeks ago I heard the some of the worst news I have ever heard in my whole life time. There is only one other time that will equal this news that I can remember and this was when my mother called me to say that my dear cousin had died in a car accident. It’s the type of news no one wants to hear especially when it’s about a person you hold dear to your heart.  The news that a loved one will be taken before they are old.

As we sat in the hospital at the bedside of my mother-in-law waiting for the specialist to arrive the chatter was light hearted, thinking that what was ailing this sweet woman was going to be fixed by the experts that had trained for years to enable people to reach their full potential. As we sat and listened to the young looking doctor, expecting her to tell us all about a treatment that could help whatever the issue was that had turned my dear loved Julie an iridescent shade of yellow, the news was sadly not what we wanted to hear. In essence this noble woman that had raised six children, three of which were blind was given 3 months to live….WHAT???

As the days turned into weeks we watched the cancer far too quickly take over her body, it took her ability to function on her own away without notice it seemed. With my Father-in-law as her primary carer and my husband on call to help lift her out of bed it became a very confronting situation. My heart broke as she told me she was going into palliative care six and a half weeks out from her initial diagnosis. Just four days later she was gone.

In this situation although it is painful there are some moments of gratitude that I wanted to touch on. I am forever grateful that my husband was there for his mother in her last week’s here on earth. He said to me “It was an honour to serve her”
 I am grateful to have been there to see that she and her husband had food on the table and share our meals with them over this time. 
I am forever thankful for the conversations we shared over this period, an opportunity to treasure up special moments of memories that she told to my husband about her life that she had never spoken of before. 
I am totally overwhelmed with the love and support from others in our community who came and helped out with meals, cleaning, visiting, helping out with mobility aids, and even a personal visit from the hairdresser to give Julie a tidied main of silky white hair.
 I am grateful for those who helped with the funeral arrangements and those who prayed for our family over this trying period.
 I have gratitude for the opportunity I had to tell her that I loved her and thank her for being a fantastic Mother-in law and grandmother to my children.
 I am thankful that she told both Deano and myself that she wanted us to continue on with our life journey and plans to move to Vietnam despite her illness.

Tuesday last week would be her last day on this earth and as I boarded the plane for Vietnam on Sunday and went to my first class to learn to be an English teacher on Monday my thoughts and heart was back in Brisbane with my family and friends as they buried and mourned the loss of a treasured Mother, a friend to everyone, a teacher to many and a faithful servant to all who she came in contact with. She was a woman who loved the Lord, did not fear death even when it was staring at her right in the face. Not once did I hear her say “Lord why me?” When she left us she was ready for whatever was in store for her in her next journey. She died with dignity and grace.

As I was not at the funeral I am writing this blog post as my way to capture my feeling of loss. I followed her instructions to continue on the path of our plans, I asked her nicely to hold on until I got back from my course in Vietnam but her response was a little shrug of her shoulders and a laugh, Julie knowing full well that her light was almost out and her earthly journey was almost over. At this time just wanted to say how much I will miss you Julie. Your death has taught me how to accept the bad times without fear, holding my head up high and knowing that come what may there is a silver lining in all aspects of life…even death. Thank you for this blessing. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for holding in there long enough for us to serve a woman that has given a life time of service to others,

Much love your daughter-in-law forever Janelle xo

Day 60: I Can't Believe We Made It!!!

The four men at the start in Perth

Being that it's the last of my 60 day post challenge it wouldn't be the Nicholson's story without blogging about a major defining event that happened to my husband and his brother in April 2010. Late 2009 my brother-in-law approached my husband at a family BBQ with his plan for both of the boys to ride their bikes across the Nullarbor...actually not just this really long road but to ride from Perth in Western Australia right across the country to Sydney NSW, 4124 kilometres to be precise! I could see the excitement of the adventure in Deano's face. I agreed to supporting the boys if the family could be included. 

The men pose in their training gear

I had worked full time for many years supporting my husband in his pursuit of his dreams this would be a great opportunity for our family to celebrate and give me a long awaited break from the day to day grind of working day in and out to help support my family. However as life has it the plans for the ride did not go as I had hoped. With funding not reaching the levels as planned people who were not a necessity for the ride were cut from the opportunity, unfortunately this meant I didn't make the cut...can you believe it...Dean's wife and children had to stay behind while he was experiencing life. To say I was disappointed is a total understatement. I was devastated. I felt like I was being left once again to hold down the fort whilst my husbands journey in life was given an opportunity to fill his cup once more whilst mine stayed very empty. When I expressed this to my husband,  with tears in my eyes,  I sobbed at the disparity of our lives I truly felt I had been robbed. He had been afforded time to study...not once but twice...and had a dream job where his boss supported him in accomplishing a feet that not even elite athletes had  conquered in the period of time the boys had allowed themselves to prepare.  

My anxiety grew over the months leading up to his ride. I was sad at the opportunity I was missing out on and I was bitter that he couldn't find a way to include us in the journey. It was becoming such an issue that divorce was on the cards. I felt totally ripped off and my husband because he had been given all his life help by others to persue  his dreams just couldn't understand why I would be so upset. Not even on the day he left did we his family get to wave him goodbye at the airport...because I had to go to work to pay the mortgage. Do I sound bitter? At the time this feeling (I am ashamed to say, but hey I'm only human after all) was extremely embedded in my personality. It definitely was a time I was letting my feelings get the better of me.

Sir Richard Branson sponsored their flights over to Perth 

The week prior to them leaving Brisbane there was an article in the local paper. Daughter number 3 school teacher gave me a call and asked me if the school could follow along with the ride. She had made a map of the journey and put it up on the classroom wall with two little tandem bikers she moved along each day to the towns the men had ridden through. She had done an Internet search and found all the media interviews that were happening along the way, the blog that was being written by their media specialist and all the pictures of Deano and his brother as the cycled across the country. The school started  raising funds to donate to Vision Australia and little did she know this teacher was teaching me to get out of my head and get into my heart with some pride for the husband that had put his life on hold to bring awareness of vision impairment to a nation of people who may have been unaware of the challenges and also the abilities of those who suffer with this in their life. Yes I was tired and yes I had given up a lot over the years and yes this was yet another opportunity I had been sidelined for...but do you know what I had to see this differently and then and only then would I feel differently because these feelings were not useful to me at all. I had to see it through the adventurous eyes of a year 6 child, one who is watching two men accomplish greatness without any limiting beliefs

The two out the front of Vision Australia office

As I saw the faces of the people who were there to cheer them on in each town I slowly lost those hurt feelings each day. To hear the voice of Alan Jones interviewing the boys as they were in the middle of the outback not once or twice but three times it helped change my demeanour about  being the one left behind. Each day we did our usual thing, get up, get the girls to school, go to work, clean the house, do the washing and prepare food for the family, and  do it all again the next day...but at the end of the day as I went to bed I would share with the girls where their Dad was on his journey and read to them the media coverage for the day. The first two weeks seemed like an eternity. It was in the third week we started to feel like we had gotten use to Dad not being there and it just felt like routine for him not to be around helping with all the housework chores that we were accustomed to before he went on his ride...(did you hear that men...even the Blind man does household chores no excuses) 

The men stop off and rest and take a selfie on Australia's longest road

At the end of the third week the girls and I decided we wanted to be apart of the action and made a plan to surprise their Dad. We broke my credit card out of the back of the cupboard and booked flights for five of us to meet the boys on the side of the road in our nations Capital City Canberra. We followed them from Canberra to Sydney where we were part of a crowd of spectators watching these men ride to victory via police escort through the streets of Sydney right through to the iconic Sydney Opera House. It was a joyous morning one I will never forget. The hurt and anger was literally washed away when I saw the now svelte and athletically  conditioned man in Lycra come and give me a huge hug and kiss on the shores of one of the most romantic places on earth. 

Media Picture of the four men

Now there was plenty of media around this massive journey...these men making the record books being the first blind men to cycle across the country and raising much needed funds and awareness for Vision Australia. I will post the blog links and Videos at the end of this blog post. I just felt I needed to share with you some insight into how I personally felt, perhaps to bring some closure to an event that while it was considered fantastic for the achievement of these men, could have also been a tragedy for me personally if I let it. Six years on I am proud of their efforts and wouldn't change a thing even if I could...this experience brought to my Blind husbands attention that his wife who is always willing to give also needs her opportunity to have her cup filled. It has brought hope to many blind people all over the world that they can achieve whatever they put their mind to. The ride has taught the year 6 children at Moorooka State School here in Brisbane that in spite of the ordinary life can be extraordinary if you let it, and the ride taught me life is what I chose it to be, that it's okay to be the support crew and a groupie as long as the superstar comes home to his number 1 fan...Me! 

The four men on the road

The four men make it to Sydney

 PS I personally want to acknowledge the two sighted riders that assisted in the tandem ride across the country. Their efforts for 4 weeks helped these two men accomplish their dream and without these two men, Grant Williams and John Eder and the others that they trained with leading up to their ride it couldn't have happened. And so it is with all those unsung hero's who assist others to achieve in life today, I tip my hat to you. Often you are overlooked and under appreciated but not today my friend. I have learnt one important lesson. Life isn't about significance and it's is all about giving service with a little dash of love on the side, however it is the significance in the service where you find yourself and where you will find your greatest joy. Therein lies the answer to true happiness. "Wax on Wax off" Mr Miyagi Karate Kid

Day 59: Sixth Sense

Travelling in the car today Deano with his face screwed up like he had bitten into a lemon asks "What's that smell, it smells like someone died in the backseat and we need to call a hurst to come and pick it up" One of our daughters had just removed her shoes and awkwardly embarrassed about her foot odour said she would throw her shoes into the boot of the car at the next stop. Until then it was windows down for the rest of us. For Deano to pick the smell up before it hit the noses of the rest of us is just one example of his heightened senses due to his blindness.

Lorin his brother who is also blind is somewhat famous in the cooperate speaking world. His guitar playing is astronomical with the way his is able to massage those strings to tell the world a story musically amazes people all over. His sense of touch is a gift that has sent him to stages he never expected as to be preforming on, sending a message to all within earshot that blindness can be overcome. Lorin is a motivational speaker and as such he gets to meet and associated with leaders all over the world. 

Yesterday he rang us and told us about the dinner date he had with General Stephen Day who is in command of the Australian Defence Force. Lorin being the excitable story teller that he is had us captivated whist He relayed to us the topics of conversation they covered over the dinner table. One such topic that Lorin asked the General about was what it was like to be in combat. Lorin imagining every nerve way in your body being electrifyingly heightened. General Day agreed with Lorin's  conclusion of what happens to your body when you are under attack saying it's your hearing you rely on before your vision, taking note of rustling noises in bushes, and other noises that will help save ones life in combat. Smell is another sense that is also alerted under extreme circumstances and often a returned soldier can be taken back to a scene of extremity just by the waft of something in the air as he is mentally right back on the battle field by a simple scent.

Lorin Father of Four, Motivational Speaker and world renowned guitarist, Louise mother of three, holds a Bachelor of Linguistics and is raising her children with her husband whilst he does his internship as a Doctor  in the US and Deano Father of four and holds a Degree in Natural Science and another in Business. All very accomplished through using all their senses to make them accomplished in whatever field they have chosen. The three of them inspire me everyday.

And so it is with these blind men and their blind sister Louise, whom is also an amazing mother of 3 daughters. I often hear comments that bring to my attention something I have not heard in my surroundings, just like the times my husband  hears our teenagers downstairs on the phone whispering sweet nothing to her boyfriend at 2am in the morning when she should be sleeping. ( so why can't he here me calling his name when I want some help with the chores...selective hearing I think they call it!) Deano's sense of smell has saved our lives one time. We were all asleep in bed and Deano returned home late from a meeting to find a fire in the kitchen contained to the stove where I had accidentally left the baby bottles boiling away to sterilise them. The smell of smoke I was blissfully unaware of until he burst through the door and woke me up. He said he could smell it as he approached the front door. The entire house had a blanket of thick smoke that had floated to the ceiling space. Evacuating the girls and myself and putting out the flames it was his sense of touch and smell that helped us out of what could have been a terrible outcome for all. Once again with his sense of touch Deano even to manage to find a tiny tick on the head of our toddler as he was brushing her hair one time when we were out camping. There is no way I would have found it before she was sick. His hearing is so acute that if I was to drop a coin even on carpet he is able to tell me that I had dropped money and tell me what denomination it was. 

Our children over the years have learnt that although their Dad can't see they don't seem to get away with too much because what they have realised is Dad has a six sense...it's called his wife...and what Dad can't see I can and it's for this reason we make an awesome couple of parents. Just like General Day ready to go into battle against the world, with all of our senses switched on we go about our day trying to protect our family with honesty, love and integrity. It's not been an easy journey but nothing good is ever easy! 

Louise with her baby daughter meeting our Dog Bruce in the park

Day 58: Strawberry Fields Forever

Today we went strawberry picking with our youngest daughter. It has been something we have enjoyed doing with all our girls and it is a lovely opportunity to spend quality time in nature with each child helping their blind dad chose the best strawberries to pluck from the plant and share with him as a nice treat after. As we walk each row Deano thinks he's got a good ripe berry but after picking a few dud ones, pale and underripe our youngest educated him on how to feel for ones that are ready for picking..."Dad they have to feel plump and waxy with a smoothness on the skin that makes you want to eat it" was our 12 year olds instructions. Precious memories are something I hang onto dearly because I know from experience that in the years ahead these innocent children change into teenagers. 

Strawberry picking with all four girls in 2009

Strawberry picking in 2009 when Deano had enough sight to pick without help form his children

In 2009 our youngest and oldest in the field

Strawberry picking with our youngest daughter today helping him chose a ripe juicy strawberry

Can I just say that when your daughter is 12 it is the happiest year and the saddest your of your life. I know this from experience, having 4 daughters it has been our observation  that in that year when they are preteen they are agreeable, want to help (most of the time) with anything you ask of them.(except the washing up) They are friendly and happy towards others, they have nice friends who are also acting in a nice girly manner, they like to pretend play still with your high heals, they are beginning to take pride in their appearance, they are ready to graduate into high school and are pretty much the happiest they will ever be until they are well into their 20's. 

So what happens to them in their teenage years? We seem to lose the daughter that we have raised with loving cherished care and in her place someone new moves in. 
The new person is someone who we were not expecting but were warned of by many friends and family. 

The new child is one we love all the same in spite her new personality, her challenging moments...(and there are many) and her ridiculous amount of ridicule of her parents about how out of touch we are, about how we have know idea and about how we as parents are so daggy.  To go shopping now this new child instead of wanting to walk with her parents will mosey behind us about 20 feet behind obviously too embarrassed to be seen with her parents in public...although when the she is shopping with her blind father alone she will assist him and help guide...in this situation I have two choices, 1. To consider myself as the daggy parent they don't want to be seen with or number 2. their sense of humanity kicks in when they see their blind Dad struggling to find his way when he is on his own. I chose to think it's the latter.

 I recently read a book called Useful Belief by Chris Helder. He explains that in every situation we can chose how we think about the meaning of each event that happens in our life. In order to have a positive attitude to life is it useful for me to believe my teenage children don't love me, nope! Is it useful for me to believe their teenager stance  that I have been a bad parent when they say they don't want to abide by our stupid parental rules of no alcohol or drugs or partying, nope!  It's much more useful to believe that parents create rules to keep their children safe, give boundaries and help protect our children from a world that would take advantage of their innocence. To us it's far more useful to believe that surely we are not the only parents on earth that have household rules and that we have raised our children the best we know how.

I can't say that we as parents get it right all of the time. Yes there have been raised voices and anxious moments but it's useful to believe that this is all part of life with teenage people living under your roof. So whilst it's a struggle now at this point in our lives as our older girls are turning into young adults and still making choices that we would not consider wise and have consequences that affect those around them, it is useful to believe that some day soon..perhaps in their early to mid 20's life will change, hormones will be balanced and and the preciousness of the 12 year old relationships we had with them while picking strawberries with their Dad in a field ready to harvest, will return, we just have to be patient and wait for that time...and hope and pray they don't do too much damage to themselves in the meantime.
 That's my useful belief and I'm sticking to it! 

Strawberry selfies 

Ps another useful belief for all parents of teenage girls is Karma, one day they will be mothers of teenage girls too! No more needs to be said! 

Day 57: Just Breathe

It's drawing near to the end of the first month of Spring heralding in the silly season of festive work place drinks and parties, Christmas decorations and music piping through shops, school end of year celebrations, graduations of all sorts, school, seminary, sporting club break up parties and lots of carnivals and fetes to attend. Yes in Australia there is literally 3 months of counting down to the big day when the fat man in the red suit comes to visit all the good children in the world and Christians celebrate the birth of Christ.
As I sat there watching the children playing at an inflatable water park behind the cafe lunching, sun basking down on children splashing with laughter and calling out to friends to chase them through the shallow pools it brings an eyrie uneasy sense of reflection to my soul.

It was the day after Christmas, here in Australia it's known as Boxing Day...back in the day of royalty and aristocrats traditionally the wealthy people who could afford Christmas lunch would box up their left overs and give them to the poor and needy in the community. Now days Boxing Day is usually spent going to the post Christmas sales. This particular year was 10 years ago when our youngest was just turning 2.

We had purchased and moved  into this new house only 4 months earlier and had paid a swim instructor to teach the girls how to swim in the new pool. The instructor was great with the older three girls and had them swimming proficiently enough to save themselves and get to the side of the pool if they were to fall in. Our fourth little one, being as shy as a mouse, refused to get into the somewhat cold water during the lesson period and as such didn't grasp the concept of the life saving instructions.

Being a cautious mother I was really aware of the dangerous reality of the likely hood of her drowning if she got into the pool enclosure unattended. On the morning of the 26th of December  I shared my concerns with my husband about being afraid that she was unable to swim and like the concerned parents that we are we created a plan so that she would be safe. Our plan was to buy a swim suit with floatation built in. All the while we were outside having a swim with her in our arms encouraging her to blow bubbles and paddle with her feet. Just a regular morning with two regular parents doing what regular parents do. Dean is such a capable father and I have never had any concerns with him doing any of the fatherly type duties...he changed nappies, fed bottles, heated or cooked meals from scratch, dressed the girls, helped with laundry, strapped the girls into their car seats, made their beds, helped pick up their toys and anything you could think of he would do so I never considered or thought twice about leaving our 2 year old in the swimming pool area with her Dad when I went into the house for a shower.

Announcing to Deano that I was getting out of the pool thinking that he understood he was then in charge of our toddler, I went into the house, got undressed and started the shower. There was only one problem...Deano in his mind thought that I had the toddler with me when I left and to my horror I heard him scream my name at the top of his lungs a sound so alarming that I hope I never hear this terrifying scream again. I turn on my heals look out the back window to find my husband dragging my drowning toddler, whose body lay face down floating in the pool, out of the water  Horrified I let out my own blood curdling scream. Slipping and skidding on the polished wooden floors I managed to run through the house literally butt naked grab the phone and proceeded to call for an ambulance as I ran towards my baby now lying on her back on the edge of the pool while my husband started to do mouth to mouth resuscitation. Between the two of us we counted the breaths but still no response. Looking up I saw the chart for resuscitation mounted on the wall reminding me of the importance of the recovery position. My childcare first aid training kicking  into my thoughts at the same time...never would have known I would be using this on any child let alone my own! We moved her body onto her side and with that water thrust out of her lungs. Eyes still rolled back in her head a few coughs and then nothing again. Dean then proceeded with mouth to mouth...all the while the person on the other end of the phone was assessing the critical situation....for what seemed like an eternity (in reality was probably only a minute or two) we didn't see any life indicators. Just when we thought all was lost  her little body started breathing on its own. But we weren't out of the clear her breathing was stopping and starting like a toy running out of battery power . I felt we were losing. At this point I don't know if you believe in miracles but a I truly testify that a miracle happened this day.

As the door bell rang I ran to grab a towel of the fence to cover my nakedness and clambered towards the front door...but before I did I with total faith and chocking back the tears I said to my husband "Stop what you are doing and pray for our little girl, give her a blessing I know it will work."
As I brought the ambulance drivers thought the house and to the pool area the sight before our eyes was a true testament of Gods love for me and my child. There I witnessed a little girl standing up and embracing her blind Dad with her arms wrapped around his neck in a cuddle that would envy all cuddles.
Surprised at the scene the ambulance worker asked "Wasn't  this child just a minute ago unconscious and not breathing?" Wow just wow!
It took a day of recovery in the hospital on oxygen before they release our little girl back into our care.

Someone was really watching over us this day. Sometimes it's not always easy to say that Dean is not able to do all things in life...without instructions...if only I had told him verbally that his daughter was in the pool area with him and not just assumed he understood, the outcome would have been a lot more different for us and our little girl on this day. However I must say that although he failed through no fault of his own to care for his little girl for the shortest period of time, he was an amazing blind Dad feeling for her heart beat, feeling and listening for her breath on his face and giving her the breath of life and this time he really came through with his trust in a higher force, some call it the universe, some call it Allah, Others call it Buda but we call Him Heavenly Father and it's through our faith and Gods grace that our girl is alive and well today. For this we will always be grateful.

Day 56: "First World Problem"...I know!

"Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." Thomas S Monson. While I love my husband there are so problems we have come across due to him being blind. One of these problems we come across quite regularly and I don't think unless you are sight impaired you would ever think about it. 

We had driven into a crowded parking lot hoping to get a Friday night park so we could go to a local Resteraunt. It had been a very long day at work and after being together for so long date night is a conscious choice because it is so much easier to snuggle up in bed and watch a movie for the night than make the effort and get all dressed up, put my face on, spend time teasing my hair and go out on the town with a man who does not see the effort I go to but appreciates that I care to make myself look nice for him. Yes I am not a natural beauty...not too sure that even exists but this is all getting off the topic of the problem I want to talk about in this post. 

I will continue...we are in the parking lot going at about 5klms per hour when the taxi in front of us comes to a stop. Not at the side of the road but blocking the traffic in both directions...right in the middle of both lanes....waiting...waiting...waiting...yes there is no where to go so we are waiting for what seemed like a very long period of time and my patience because I am tired is wearing a little thin. There seems to be no movement in the taxi...at least not that I could see through the tinted windows...the taxi driver better not be waiting for someone to get in, because how rude making us wait too...and the waiting continues and I start losing the little bit of Friday night patience I had in reserve to last me the rest of the awkward evening (only awkward because I am strung out with tiredness due to a week of work and all I really want is a quick feed and a man with his arms wrapped around me tucked in our bed as I watch a Friday night movie and he listens to my poor explanations of what is going on in the movie plot!) I finally lose my cool...just a little...and give the rude taxi driver who has delayed my date a toot with my horn...not an angry toot but a toot that says there is traffic waiting behind you if you hadn't noticed kind of toot!
Still no response for a moment...I was hoping the driver would move on but alas no. Then we have some action the passenger door slides open and the first thing I see it a white fist sized ball, a red stripe and then a white cane. Well I feel like an ass right now don't I? But I have to ask the question why did the taxi not stop in one of the disabled parking bays...oh that's right...this is Queensland and this state in Australia doesn't give disabled parking permits to those who are blind passengers in a vehicle. So this is the problem...why does the traffic rules from state to state in this wide brown land differ?

When Deano and I were dating, parking was a problem for a whole other reason, for which my mother made many strict rules so she didn't become a grandmother before her time! We were pretty good kids so we kept the rules the best we could but being from New South Wales I wonder if my mothers parking laws would change like the law makers of the land from State to State???She could have been a grandmother so much earlier...blind people are pretty good in the dark after all! (Perhaps I shouldn't write that...this might be being read by thousands of people and it's supposed to be a responsible editorial piece after all)

Back to the real post reason...in New South Wales their ruling is that each person transporting a sight impaired companion is entitled to park in a disabled parking bay. Knowing that it is difficult for a blind person to enter a shopping centre on their own they allow the driver to pull up into an appropriately close marked parking bay. Since  moving to this beautiful state of Queensland the biggest difficulty has been navigating our way through parking lots with cars moving about, reversing out of spots and all the time trying to do this with a blind man and 4 small children. Take the children out of the picture the problem still stands. How many times has Deano walked into  a cars side mirror, or bash his shines on tow balls that stick out behind vehicles as he tries to stay as close to the side of the parking lot lane so he is not collected by passing by shoppers looking for a good spot to place there car. What if like this taxi driver I just wanted to pull into the shops to drop him off safely without guiding him into the shops myself. Now I am not speaking for Queensland transport when I suggest that they must believe that all blind people would have a sighted companion to help them. Of course we all know that this is not a true statement, many blind people walk unassisted so I don't understand the logic of not allowing them to get to their destination safer by just letting them have a simple pass on the car that allows their driver to park in a safe place so the blind passenger occupant can enter the shopping centre safely.

Now back to the original statement..."Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." Yes this is a minor issue and yes we have been tackling this problem for more than ten years now so I guess it has given me the opportunity to show my husband just how much I love him by parking where I can get a space and assisting him to navigate the lanes of traffic to safely deliver him into the shopping centre. Yes we have taken out a few mirrors together, and yes he has had many bashed in knee caps from tow balls but when all is said and done these little trials in our life are just that, little, and if we focused on them constantly such issues could become major and where is the fun in that! Perhaps our new dating idea could be to go to the local drive in Cinema...where neither of us has to leave the car to watch the movie and there is pleantly of parking to be had...now that's a date night parking idea worth exploring!

Our local drive in Cinema