#theblindmanswife

#theblindmanswife

Tuesday 1 August 2017

Parting is such Sweet Sorrow

Just over 8 weeks ago I heard the some of the worst news I have ever heard in my whole life time. There is only one other time that will equal this news that I can remember and this was when my mother called me to say that my dear cousin had died in a car accident. It’s the type of news no one wants to hear especially when it’s about a person you hold dear to your heart.  The news that a loved one will be taken before they are old.

As we sat in the hospital at the bedside of my mother-in-law waiting for the specialist to arrive the chatter was light hearted, thinking that what was ailing this sweet woman was going to be fixed by the experts that had trained for years to enable people to reach their full potential. As we sat and listened to the young looking doctor, expecting her to tell us all about a treatment that could help whatever the issue was that had turned my dear loved Julie an iridescent shade of yellow, the news was sadly not what we wanted to hear. In essence this noble woman that had raised six children, three of which were blind was given 3 months to live….WHAT???

As the days turned into weeks we watched the cancer far too quickly take over her body, it took her ability to function on her own away without notice it seemed. With my Father-in-law as her primary carer and my husband on call to help lift her out of bed it became a very confronting situation. My heart broke as she told me she was going into palliative care six and a half weeks out from her initial diagnosis. Just four days later she was gone.

In this situation although it is painful there are some moments of gratitude that I wanted to touch on. I am forever grateful that my husband was there for his mother in her last week’s here on earth. He said to me “It was an honour to serve her”
 I am grateful to have been there to see that she and her husband had food on the table and share our meals with them over this time. 
I am forever thankful for the conversations we shared over this period, an opportunity to treasure up special moments of memories that she told to my husband about her life that she had never spoken of before. 
I am totally overwhelmed with the love and support from others in our community who came and helped out with meals, cleaning, visiting, helping out with mobility aids, and even a personal visit from the hairdresser to give Julie a tidied main of silky white hair.
 I am grateful for those who helped with the funeral arrangements and those who prayed for our family over this trying period.
 I have gratitude for the opportunity I had to tell her that I loved her and thank her for being a fantastic Mother-in law and grandmother to my children.
 I am thankful that she told both Deano and myself that she wanted us to continue on with our life journey and plans to move to Vietnam despite her illness.

Tuesday last week would be her last day on this earth and as I boarded the plane for Vietnam on Sunday and went to my first class to learn to be an English teacher on Monday my thoughts and heart was back in Brisbane with my family and friends as they buried and mourned the loss of a treasured Mother, a friend to everyone, a teacher to many and a faithful servant to all who she came in contact with. She was a woman who loved the Lord, did not fear death even when it was staring at her right in the face. Not once did I hear her say “Lord why me?” When she left us she was ready for whatever was in store for her in her next journey. She died with dignity and grace.
As I was not at the funeral I am writing this blog post as my way to capture my feeling of loss. I followed her instructions to continue on the path of our plans, I asked her nicely to hold on until I got back from my course in Vietnam but her response was a little shrug of her shoulders and a laugh, Julie knowing full well that her light was almost out and her earthly journey was almost over. At this time just wanted to say how much I will miss you Julie. Your death has taught me how to accept the bad times without fear, holding my head up high and knowing that come what may there is a silver lining in all aspects of life…even death. Thank you for this blessing. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for holding in there long enough for us to serve a woman that has given a life time of service to others,
Much love your daughter-in-law forever Janelle xo



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